Recently, I’ve been breathing a huge sigh of relief that we are no longer in the Threes with Noelle. Remember that year? It was atrocious, really for so many reasons, but not the least of which because of her behavior.
One particularly terrible prototypical day was when she woke up at 5:45 in the morning with a tantrum. The day started with her kicking me in the throat and continued right down hill from there.
And I know you know that we are not the only ones. Recently, at a MOPs meeting, we had the “Super-Nanny of Whatcom County” come and speak to us. As she was going over the various behavioral issues we face with our preschoolers, she stopped and said, “Now 3-year-old girls, they are a creature all their own.”
And I felt a tinge of validation. I felt even more validation when a few weeks ago, an old friend Facebooked me late one night. The chat started like this:
Her: “Do you feel like the threes are worse than the twos? I feel like my daughter is a monster.”
Me: “Um – YES!! Sometimes I had to walk away from her, I was so mad. Seething, in fact.”
Her: “I feel like I’m mourning the loss of my sweet girl.”
And then later when some friends came over for dinner, I was reminded of what a crazy season three is for little girls. Their daughter had a total meltdown over having to leave – kicking, hitting, screeching, the whole nine yards. I could tell the mom was embarrassed, but I was so NOT phased.
I wanted to reach out and pat her on the back and say, “Yep, been there, done that.”
It’s such a relief to see that we’re out of that phase. A few weeks before Noelle’s fourth birthday, I could feel the change in the tide. It was nearly imperceptible, and I can’t point to a specific thing that happened, I just remember one day watching her and realizing at a gut level, and intuitive level, that we had passed out of that ugly tantrum phase.
Perhaps it was when I said something I knew Noelle wouldn’t like, and I saw the disappointment and frustration mount behind her eyes, and she raised her hand to hit me, and then didn’t. Just like that, I saw her manage it, grab ahold of herself, and control herself.
I remember that Love and Logic was a life saver for us during those days. And it still is. Last night, I put in a CD from the class and listened as Dr. Charles Fay went over the principles and stories, I’ve become familiar with. I wanted a refresher. These things are simple, but take work to implement over and over again.
I told Dwayne the other day, “I feel the reigns loosening. It’s time to refresh and tighten things up around here!”
Dwayne smiled and looked at the floor. “The best things are always the hardest to stay on top of.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well, like balancing your budget. It’s the right thing to do, but it takes effort.”
I nodded. “Yeah, it’s the same way with the kids. I get it. It’s simple, it just takes discipline.”
So, I’ve decided, (Dwayne doesn’t realize this yet) but I’ve decided to take our next two date nights to just listen to the Love and Logic CD together, refresh what we’ve already read. I know hot and steamy stuff. Nothing like talking about parenting techniques to turn up the romance! 
3 Comments
Now get ready for the F–up fours! Ha, that’s what a friend of mine used to call it anyway.
Always good to read your stuff.
Oh Carrie, don’t tell me!
I thought the fours were supposed to be “wild and wonderful.” ha!
I couldn’t agree more…3 was a huge challenge for me as well, and I don’t think my pregnancy helped matters! I, too, have seen a positive change in E very recently both emotionally and developmentally. Nice to know we are not alone on this parenting journey!