Christin Taylor: Words on the Side

So last month, the super nanny of Whatcom county came to our MOPS chapter to speak. She was awesome. I think I will laminate the packet she gave us and hang it up around my apartment. Afterwards, she answered questions one on one and so I scrambled to the front of the room to pick her brain.

Here’s a nifty piece of advise she gave me about lying: we can help our children distinguish between what is made up, and what is real by saying, “Wouldn’t it be nice if that were true?”

For example, say Noelle comes to me and says, “Mommy, I live in a pink house with a Daddy named Sean and we have a swimming pool and seven dogs and lots of sisters and it’s up on Railroad hill.” This is Noelle’s favorite yarn, and she insists it’s true.

Rather than crushing her and saying, “Noelle, that’s not true,” the super nanny recommended saying, “Wouldn’t that be so nice if you did live in a pink house with lots of dogs and sisters?” In this way, we distinguish what is real and what isn’t for our kids.

I’ve used this tactic a couple times with Noelle, but today, it came in handy in the most unexpected conversation and I was SO grateful that the Super Nanny had given me this tool.

We were driving to gymnastics and out of nowhere Noelle starts talking like this, “Mommy, I’m going to marry Ellis and our favorite thing to do is kiss in our secret hideout and we’re going to have kids.”

I nearly slammed the breaks and skidded the car into the middle of an intersection.

WHAT!? I wanted to belt from the front seat. WHAT DID YOU SAY?!? YOU AND ELLIS ARE KISSING IN A HIDEOUT???!!!

Instead, I gripped the steering wheel a little tighter, pressed the gas through the intersection and said, “You and Ellis kiss, love?” My voice shook, just a bit.

“No,” Noelle said from the back. “But we …” and her words were drowned out by the sound of my own hyperventilating. I was trying to catch my breath after that big scare. All I remember is her going on after that about marrying Ellis and kissing him. And so I headed the conversation off in this way:

“Yeah, wouldn’t it be nice if you could marry Ellis and kiss him? But he’s still a little boy and you’re still a little girl and that won’t happen for a very long time. Right now you can just be friends and play and save all your kisses for Daddy.”

Noelle thought about this for a moment. “Okay. But I can kiss girls, though.”